The proper emotional state is hard to achieve, though. Your initial visit to an oncologist's office can be a very trying experience. Fear and anxiety about cancer, no matter how controllable or curable it might be, often limit the effectiveness of the visit. And the diagnosis, once made, often makes you unable to concentrate on the information being given. Faced with a serious, life-threatening illness, it is often difficult to express feelings, ask questions or assimilate all the new information.
When you are under such emotional stress you often cannot think clearly. In our experience, one woman—a medical social worker—walked out of the office and her sister asked, "What did the doctor say?" She said, "I forgot." She hadn't even made it to the reception area.
Sharing the Information For this reason, many doctors encourage family members or close friends to come to the consultation. The doctor may provide you with booklets or pamphlets that tell you in general terms about your type of cancer. He or she will have to discuss with you the particular plans for the treatment of your cancer, and what to anticipate. You should take notes. A few doctors may record this initial discussion and give you a copy of the tape to let you listen to it as often as you find necessary. If you wish, bring your own tape recorder.
Your doctor may choose to see you alone for the initial assessment but invite your family members in when the discussion of the treatment plans takes place. Both you and your family should ask any questions you have.
